Rare Exports

Artisans of metallurgy, chemistry, and innovation.
If it doesn’t exist yet — we’ll invent it.

Rare Exports

Only 9 gold

Key Features:

  • Fires standard iron bolts or premium felsteel spikes (sharpened for spite)

  • UBP™ Battery System – crystal-powered, recharges fast.

  • Adjustable velocity settings – From “polite tap” to “violently assertive”

  • Self-feeding mechanism – because reloading mid-chaos is for amateurs

  • Satisfying “CHUNK” sound with every trigger pull

  • Powered by our new Universal Battery Pack (patented, sold seperately)

Built-In Safety Feature

Does it move? Should it not? We got you.

The Nailer™ comes equipped with the tried, tested and certified
PressureGuard™ Muzzle Activation System
— a fancy way of saying:

"You gotta push it against something before it fires." - LK

The Nailer™

Does it move? Should it not? We got you.

Introducing the last nailgun you'll ever need - because after using it, there might not be anything left to nail.

The Nailer™ is a heavy-duty, battery powered bolt launcher capable of driving felsteel bolts through walls, plate armor, reinforced crates, or that one really annoying loose hinge.

With its self-feeding magazine, rapid-fire recoil stabilizers, and our exclusive patented Universal Battery Pack™ battery*, it turns industrial fastening into a game.

Perfect for:

  • Emergency repairs

  • Sudden fortifications

  • Tactical carpentry

  • Passive-aggressive home decor

  • Encouraging compliance from stubborn surfaces

  • Binding demons to drywall

PressureGuard™

The PressureGuard™ prevents misfires during transport, handling, or spontaneous duels in crowded taverns. Only when the reinforced muzzle is firmly pressed against a surface will the firing core activate — adding a small but vital step between "Oops" and "Whoops, structural collapse."

Only 1 gold, 7 gold for 8

Key Features:

  • CrystalCore™ Tech – pure, stabilized energy housed in reinforced alloy casing

  • Compact but powerful – roughly the size of a potato, but meaner

  • Glows when charged – or angry. Either way, it looks cool

  • Universal compatibility – if it fits, it powers

  • Recharges in under 30 minutes – or overcharges in 15, your call

  • Mag-lock connectors – won’t fall out unless you yeet it

Universal Battery Pack™

"Power anything. Anywhere. Hopefully legally."

The Universal Battery Pack™ is your go-to solution for when raw, green energy is needed and consequences are optional. Engineered with rare materials and powered by our proprietary CrystalCore™ system, each battery delivers consistent, high-output power in a compact, dangerously cool-looking form.

Compatible with all Rare Exports™ tools, devices, bots, constructs, and at least one forgotten magical relic (accidentally).

Perfect for:

  • Powering The Nailer™

  • Operating your BattleBots™

  • Lighting up your basement laboratory

  • Jumpstarting vehicles, small elementals, or skeptical gnomes

  • Impressing people at parties or terrifying them at rituals

  • Emergency backup for light fixtures, enchanted toasters, or cursed vending machines

Rare Exports

BattleBots™- Scrap Your Foes in Style!

Battlebots - Crush your enemies, see them broken before you, and hear the lamentations of their owners!

Welcome to the future of remote-controlled mayhem! BattleBots™ are mechanical mini-gladiators, forged for one purpose: total domination. Whether you're into flippers, spinners, saws, or drills that pierce the very soul of your rival’s bot, we’ve got something for you.

Each BattleBot is built on a modular, customizable core frame
— tweak, tune, and transform to your heart’s content.Swap wheels for spikes. Replace that cannon with a drill. Mount a flamethrower. Add a disco ball. (We won’t stop you.)

The only limit is your imagination
— and the parts you can afford.

If your bot gets wrecked? Good. Rebuild it better, stronger, spikier. Our exclusive, patented toolkits and modular systems make maintenance a breeze — or at least a controlled explosion.

Starter Pack Includes:

1x Pre-built BattleBot™, lovingly pre-tuned for carnage1x Remote controller (battery juice not included)1x Field repair kit, complete with band-aids for your pride

The Battle Dome™

Tired of mom yelling about her ruined carpet or dad banning fire indoors again?

The Battle Dome is a state-of-the-art, containment-approved, flame-retardant portable arena perfect for keeping the destruction stylish and localized. No more collateral damage to pets, furniture, or innocent siblings.

Fight with honor. Or spikes. Preferably both.

Rare Exports

Elixirs and potions

Potion of Temperary Invisiblity

"Cant accuse what is not seen"

A classic potion of Invisibility. keeps you away from prying eyes for atleast ten seconds. Perfect go get away from a sticky situation.
10 silverEffects are nearly immediate:
No one will see you, probably.

Warning:
When no one sees you, no one actually sees you.

Warning:
Just because you don’t feel tired doesn’t mean you aren’t tired.

Potion of Endurance™

"“When you need to keep going — and going — and going — and…”"

Distilled from arcane roots, beastbone extract, and a little something we legally can’t disclose, this powerful elixir floods the body with raw stamina. Whether you’re running from danger, into danger, or just trying to impress someone — this potion has your back. And legs. And lungs.
10 silver

Effects are nearly immediate:

Prolonged use can result in:
Sudden realization that you ran 42 miles for no reason
Dehydration

Warning:
While this potion enables underwater breathing, it does not make you immune to:Choking,Drowning in soup,Tentacle-related encounters,Enthusiastic sea life.

Water Breathing™

"“"Now you can go down longer... and stay down deeper."”"

This shimmering elixir lets you survive in very wet environments for extended periods. Blended with refined fish oils, stranglekelp extract, and just a splash of mysterious bioluminescent goo, it's everything your gills wish you had.
10 silver

Perfect for:
Deep dives
Shipwreck exploration
Awkward spa dates
Escaping the consequences of land-based decisions

Breathability does not imply survivability. Use mouth responsibly.

Warning:
Potion increases muscle power, not bone durability.
Possible side effects include:Snapped belts, Crushed goblets, Loud grunting followed by apologies

Potion of Strength™

"Become the strongest version of yourself. And then throw that version through a wall."

Infused with powdered ogre tendon, volcanic salts, and condensed lightning (don’t ask how), this crimson-hued concoction floods your body with raw, unfiltered power. Whether you're lifting siege weapons, crushing doors off hinges, or just trying to win an arm wrestling match against a tauren — this potion delivers.
10 silver

Effects:
Temporary superhuman strength
Dramatic flexing (may be involuntary)
Deep, booming voice for up to 30 minutes
Biceps you didn’t know you had

Warning:
Tentacle location is randomized.
May exhibit its own fashion sense.
Do not attempt to arm-wrestle yourself.
Effects wear off after exactly one hour… usually.

If it lasts for more than four hours, seek medical attention fromy our local healer.

Tentacle Tonic™

Because sometimes, two hands just aren’t enough

From the visionary minds at Rare Exports™, comes the marvel of modern bio-alchemy: the Tentacle Tonic™.One sip, and for exactly one hour, you’ll sprout a fully functional, highly expressive tentacle. Perfect for multitasking, dramatic gestures, holding drinks at social events, or giving someone an unforgettable slap across the face.
10 silver

Perfect For:
Impressing party guests with your “exotic appendage"
Carrying one more tankard back from the bar
Slapping two people at once during heated negotiations
Extra grip or hand when working with complext tasks

Warning:
Effects may leave you feeling strangely empowered or overwhelmed.
Clothing may not fit as expected. Please plan accordingly.
Side effects include prolonged smirking and asking very personal questions.

Perspective Flux Elixir™

"For when curiosity simply won’t take ‘no’ for an answer."

Tired of the same old perspective? Ever wonder what it’s really like to walk in entirely different shoes—or, perhaps, without them? The Perspective Flux Elixir™ unlocks new experiences, offering you a refreshing realignment of your priorities, presentation.It’s about understanding. Experiencing. Expanding horizons. And maybe finding out why some clothes fit differently afterward.
10 silver

Effects:
A sudden, undeniable shift in perspective.
Curiosity satisfied
May cause exploratory behavior and extended mirror time.

Cat's eye elixir

"Cant see it? Now you can"

Brewed with trace elements of nocturnal essence and stabilized in a murky green solution, this potent elixir sharpens vision to a near-supernatural degree. Whether you’re navigating moonless forests, deep caverns, or suspicious basements — Cat’s Eye Elixir™ ensures you don’t miss a thing.
10 silverEffects are nearly immediate:
You will probably see everything.
Warning: Do not look at the sun or other bright light sources

Fel-Issue Adrenal Surge Injector

"For the Fel-Challenged in Dire Circumstances"

A single-use, spring-loaded injector designed to deliver a potent burst of fel-infused regenerative energy.Press the reinforced tip against any fleshy surface — limb, torso, or even neck — and depress the trigger to release a rapidly dissolving fel crystal into the bloodstream.
50 silverEffects are nearly immediate: accelerated tissue repair, a surge of stamina, and a brief euphoric haze.

Instructions:
Twist the cap and squeeze contents directly into the mouth. Effects: rapid nourishment absorption.Effects are nearly immediate: accelerated tissue repair, a surge of stamina, and a brief euphoric haze.

Fel-Flux Nutrient Paste

"Power through pain. Triumph through taste."

A compact, one-use nutrient delivery system designed for operatives aligned with fel magics or those sufficiently attuned such energies.Each tube contains a semi-viscous, alchemically stabilized blend of fel-infused proteins, fast-metabolizing sugars, and mana-reactive compounds. Ideal for regaining strength during prolonged physical strain or spell fatigue.
5 silver

WARNING TO USERS:
This product contains concentrated fel essence and is not suitable for Light-bound, nature-attuned, or arcane-sensitive individuals. Consumption may result in severe nausea, internal combustion, or immediate spiritual dissonance.
Use of this product within range of holy symbols or Light-based wards may cause unintended planar reactions.

Rare Exports

Rare Exports™ Universal Terms of Purchase, Usage, Accountability, Displacement, Manifestation, and General Life Consequences™

By engaging in any form of transaction (monetary, bartered, spiritual, metaphysical, or interpretative dance) with Rare Exports™, you hereby agree, without hesitation, protest, or comprehension, to the following terms and conditions:

§1 All sales are final. No refunds. No exchanges. No takesies backsies. Not even if you cry.§2 Products may contain fel, traces of fel, residual fel, or the suggestion of fel. You accept this risk and any correlative consequences, including (but not limited to): demonic possession, sudden horn growth, inexplicable glowing, or mild euphoria.§3 Rare Exports™ accepts no liability for:3.1 Accidental planar rifts3.2 Summoning of minor or major demons3.3 Transformation into a lesser imp, greater voidbeast, or mid-tier chaos entity3.4 Death, undeath, re-death, or existential vaporization3.5 Corruption of body, mind, soul, home decor, or pets§ 4 Use of our products voids all warranties, hope, and Light-based insurance plans.§ 5 If the item explodes, it was meant to, or instructions may have not been followed. No compensation will be offered.§ 6 Items may expire during, or after purchase. All Items are sold as is.§ 7 If your item does not work, you’re probably using it wrong. Consult our exclusive one time use instructions scroll (sold separately).§ 8 Repairs available for a fee determined by us at time of need, whim, or lunar alignment.§ 9 Disputes will be settled via ceremonial wrestling or trial by fel fireball, depending on scheduling.§ 10 Complaints must be submitted in triplicate to our complaint void.§ 11 Purchasing from Rare Exports™ waives all rights to reality-based expectations.§ 12 By signing (verbally, spiritually, or psychically) you grant Rare Exports™ the right to use your likeness, voice, or shadow in promotional material.§ 13 Rare Exports™ is not responsible for any sudden cravings for war crimes, spontaneous combustion, or romantic attraction to voidwalkers.§ 14 Repackaging and resale is allowed only with express written permission carved into obsidian and signed in arcane ink.§ 15 Terms are subject to change without notice. Or they might just rewrite themselves when you’re not looking.

§1 All sales are final. No refunds. No exchanges. No takesies backsies. Not even if you cry.§2 Products may contain fel, traces of fel, residual fel, or the suggestion of fel. You accept this risk and any correlative consequences, including (but not limited to): demonic possession, sudden horn growth, inexplicable glowing, or mild euphoria.§3 Rare Exports™ accepts no liability for:3.1 Accidental planar rifts3.2 Summoning of minor or major demons3.3 Transformation into a lesser imp, greater voidbeast, or mid-tier chaos entity3.4 Death, undeath, re-death, or existential vaporization3.5 Corruption of body, mind, soul, home decor, or pets§ 4 Use of our products voids all warranties, hope, and Light-based insurance plans.§ 5 If the item explodes, it was meant to, or instructions may have not been followed. No compensation will be offered.§ 6 Items may expire during, or after purchase. All Items are sold as is.§ 7 If your item does not work, you’re probably using it wrong. Consult our exclusive one time use instructions scroll (sold separately).§ 8 Repairs available for a fee determined by us at time of need, whim, or lunar alignment.§ 9 Disputes will be settled via ceremonial wrestling or trial by fel fireball, depending on scheduling.§ 10 Complaints must be submitted in triplicate to our complaint void.§ 11 Purchasing from Rare Exports™ waives all rights to reality-based expectations.§ 12 By signing (verbally, spiritually, or psychically) you grant Rare Exports™ the right to use your likeness, voice, or shadow in promotional material.§ 13 Rare Exports™ is not responsible for any sudden cravings for war crimes, spontaneous combustion, or romantic attraction to voidwalkers.§ 14 Repackaging and resale is allowed only with express written permission carved into obsidian and signed in arcane ink.§ 15 Terms are subject to change without notice. Or they might just rewrite themselves when you’re not looking.

Rare Exports

Only 5 gold

Miniaturized Hydraulic Stompers™ - May not flatten a city, but your couch won’t recover.

Personal Reaver™

Why conquer the world when you can ruin someone's afternoon instead?

The scaled-down terror of a full-size Reaver, now conveniently sized for living room devastation! Equipped with thunderous (but thankfully simulated) footstep sounds and a wildly unnecessary shoulder-mounted spark emitter, the Personal World Destroyer™ is perfect for unleashing apocalyptic tantrums across countertops, coffee tables, and the unsuspecting toes of your enemies.

Modular Armament Mounts — Fit with saws, drills, or that one attachment we’re legally not allowed to sell anymore.

Only 4 gold

Dual Hydraulic Hind Legs™ – Still delivers a friendly 2000 PSI of affection.

Following multiple incidents in something called a "garden party," all weapons have been removed.

Mechanical Companion (Peaceful Edition)™

For reasons unclear to us, you people love these small, poorly armored herbivores.

When our respected product engineers observed primitive wind-up toys and your small apex predators (commonly referred to as “rabbits”), it was clear these creatures must be designed for localized combat and short-range demolition. Naturally, we equipped the original prototype with claws, carbon-edged incisors, and a cheerful little plasma emitter.

Comes pre-oiled in questionable substances. Handle with gloves.

Only 3 gold

Goblin Shredder™

Efficiency meets overkill.

This one's got sawblades where logic should be. Rapid rotation, unstable acceleration, and a tendency to catch fire (intentionally).The goblin in the blueprint said it’s “perfectly safe” — right before disappearing in an explosion.

Comes pre-oiled in questionable substances. Handle with gloves.

Only 3 gold

ULTRATONK™

Sturdy. Clanky. Overengineered.

Inspired by traditional Ironforge craftsmanship and at least six different steam leaks, this bot is built like a tank and sounds like one too. Features pressure-powered piston smacks, rotating smokestack exhaust, and a horn that plays off-key battle hymns.

Warning: May spontaneously brew ale when overheated.

Only 3 gold

Killdozer™

The subtle approach is for cowards.

Ten kilos of brutal pushing power in a palm-sized package. Its primary strategy: drive forward and don’t stop. Equipped with a reinforced plow, spiked treads, and an attitude problem. Not great at turning, but who needs subtlety?

Ideal for flattening dreams and enemy bots alike.

Rare Exports

Customer Testimonials

The Nailer™

🛠️ "I bought The Nailer™ to fix a loose shelf. Now I have a new window. Through two walls."
— Gribbnak the Cautiously Impressed

🔩 "Fast, efficient, terrifying. Just like my ex."
— Mira Voidweaver, 4-time ‘Battle Home Repairs’ Champion

⚡ "I used to hammer things like a fool. Now I stand at a distance and assert dominance."
— Bertle ‘The Thumb Crusher’ Hammernose

☠️ "It stopped the demon. And the floor. And the neighbor’s demon too. 10/10."
— High Arcanist Zoltrix, now under investigation

🦶 "Look, the guy was charging at me. I panicked. I grabbed The Nailer™ and now his foot's part of the floor. Situation resolved. Self-defense. Probably."
— Customer review removed by legal counsel

🧰 "My apprentice asked if it was safe. I laughed. Then we nailed the question to the wall."
— Krix Fizzgear, Engineering Enthusiast (Retired… medically)

🔥 "Bought one for the workshop, ended up needing one for self-defense. From the workshop."
— Customer review removed by legal counsel

Universal Battery Pack™

⚡ “I plugged one into my auto-crossbow. It now fires before I pull the trigger.”
— Torvik Ironjaw, Warcrafter & Accidental Innovator

💡 “Glows beautifully. Hums softly. Powers my coffee machine and my spite.”
— Velora Dawnshade, Technomage, probably not on any watchlists

🧨 “Lit up my workshop. Then the sky. Then the neighbor’s barn. Still worth it.”
— Gibzik Sparktoe, Engineer. Sort of.

🔥 “Dropped one. Sparked. Lit the firepit. Cooked dinner. Burned the deck. 10/10 would roast marshmallows again.”
— Thromgar Flamegut, BBQ Enthusiast / Arson Suspect

🎣 “Took it fishing. Didn’t catch fish — but when the murlocs came up screaming, I tossed the battery. No more murlocs.”
— Jibzip Gizzlenet, Angler of Questionable Methods

⚡ “I don’t even use ‘em for tools anymore. I just hold one and feel powerful.”
— Zarn the Intern, currently on suspension for ‘creative misuse’

🪨 “Mine lanterns went out. Slapped a Battery Pack™ into a rusty sconce. Whole tunnel lit up like festival day. We haven’t seen daylight in weeks, but spirits are high.”
— Durla Deepdelver, Senior Rock Whisperer

Rare Exports

Enchants

Looking to protect your self, deal some damage, or strenghten the durability of your equipment, our skilled enchanter can do that and so much more!

Elemental and magical defence

"Become the strongest version of yourself. And then throw that version through a wall."

Need your shield to withstand the dragons breath?
dont like your socks being wet? Ask our Enchanter about your needs!

Weapon enchantments.

"Fighting evil spirits,
demons, oversized rats?"

There is always an enchantment to suit your needs, being it a enduring sharpness, a burning blade, or a eletrical shock!or perhaps just wiping it clean from blood is to much of a hassle